I’ll never understand people who don’t drink alcohol
Maybe they know what alcohol can do to people, maybe they fear liver failure, maybe they had a family member or friend that died from an alcohol related accident, maybe they don’t feel the need or desire to drink, it’s really not that hard to comprehend.
What is the best thing to do when your wall goes up? Just leave you be and say, do nothing?
Usually when my family tries to talk to me when I’m down, I literally cannot find a single thing to respond with. I don’t mean to be difficult. They get frustrated when I just stare at them. Any outreach electronically is similar. I either don’t respond or in a half-assed manner, try to change the subject. Though, if no one reaches out, I do feel lonelier.
I think there’s a way to leave people alone, without actually leaving them alone. You leave them alone in a sense that you don’t create a cloud of “oh gosh, there’s something wrong and you MUST be fixed, and ‘I’ MUST fix you!” I am a culprit of this behavior too, and I’m sure everyone does it. If someone is down, I catch myself trying my darnedest to be the light they need when really, I should chill and take a softer approach.
If I had an ideal friend that was constant, in person, and always there for me, I would imagine that the best thing they could do is as follows: They’re allowed to ask what’s wrong and offer their ear. That’s what friends are for. But if I’m clearly building walls, rather than get angry and ignore me, it would be nice for them to give me a hug (quick, meaningful and over with), and then change the scene. Maybe tell me a ridiculous joke to change the air? Maybe a small simple gesture, like bringing me a drink? If it were dark out, simply convincing me to go outside and stare at the stars would change my whole attitude. Little things.
I don’t think anyone with walls up are truly in need of someone to fix them or find an answer for them. The only person who can tear down a wall is the one who built it. But as a friend, family member, or considerate bystander, being kind is the best medicine. When someone has cancer, you don’t crowd them with cancer questions and get angry at them for not being able to recover for your sake, because it’s not about you. You show them compassion, love, inspiration, respect, uplift them, and you offer peace because life for them might not be peaceful. Their minds, like anyone with walls up, are not at peace. Though they are two vastly different ailments, treating the situation for both is very similar.
I don’t know why you asked me this. Maybe it was personal, or maybe you’re genuinely concerned for people in your life? I don’t know. I don’t know if it makes any sense or if it helps your ideas, but it’s how I feel as someone who builds too many walls. So all in all, never keep the situation low. Don’t further extend the fall that your acquaintance is taking, but rather pick them up if they allow you, and send them back on their way.
I hope my words do justice.